


the stars on the tip of your tongue

by goldflower



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, F/F, Fluff, Genderswap, Masturbation, Platonic Cuddling, Religious Content, Sharing Clothes, boy!perrie, girl!1d, girl!Harry, girl!Niall, girl!Zayn, it's not really detailed, mentions of homophobic parents, or is it platonic ooooh, sorry for all the tags, sorta?, this is way more fluffy than these tags suggest tbh, unestablished relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldflower/pseuds/goldflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry read somewhere that if you lay long enough with someone your hearts start to beat in sync, and when the soft beating of niall's heart against her side starts feel like her own, she gets even more scared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the stars on the tip of your tongue

**Author's Note:**

> i _really_ wanted to write something but everything i thought of was always too hard to word, or too long, but then i found a website that gave prompts and this (sort of but not really) was one of them, and so i wrote it. i may have referenced [a poem](http://31.media.tumblr.com/389787047a51923f2f66fea8fffdb426/tumblr_mf62hvVjW01qi7t1wo1_500.jpg), too, but who cares (i do).

 

Harry's not the religious type. Honestly, she always thought believing in something as powerful as a God was silly, even after she met Niall.

 

Of course _Niall_  believed in God. Christ, her whole family did. They were the stereotypical type, of all things—against gays, believing in marriage before sex, the whole lot—but really that just fueled Harry's fire.

 

The fire that, of course, was sparked when she heard about them being homophobic (because, honestly, she went through the Seven Gates of Hell the first few years of high school when she first came out, she doesn't need her neighbors to bring her back to those horrid years).

 

She wanted to see all the sins she could pull out of the innocent little Christian up until her breaking point though, and so far—dear god has it gotten so far—she's been up for the lot.

 

____

 

It started out small, making her cuss, smoke, drink; those things just too mostly get back at her parents. Niall was up for it, a little too enthusiastically, and Harry just figured she was relieved to finally have a sense of rebellion for once.

 

____

 

But this, Harry was sure would get her to never talk to her again, the ultimate test. Masturbating. Niall laughed at first, told her she wasn't going to do that, Harry wasn't exactly one to push, so she let it drop, figured she would ask her again another time. But Niall being quiet on the other line made her think maybe she wouldn't have to.

 

“Ni? Are you still there?” She asked, staring up at the ceiling.

 

“Yeah, I just. Um, should I? I mean, I wouldn't know what to do and I'm not, like, you know,” Niall pauses and Harry bites her lip, furrowing her eyebrows at the ceiling. “Horny.” She mumbles out. Suddenly everything becomes clear.

 

“Oh. Oh, yeah, that's not a problem, just watch some porn and when down there starts to feel all tingly and what not, start rubbing.” She tells her, speaking loud and confidently just to make her squirm.

 

“But I've never watched porn before. I don't know what to look for.” Niall breathes and Harry pictures her with her hand over her eyes, lying on her bed with a frown on her face. She almost snorts.

 

“Well what turns you on? I mean, I personally watch gay porn, but that's not for everyone. Do you—.”

 

“Gay porn how does that work?” Niall questions and Harry feels like she's honestly curious, like she doesn't really know what it’s like in the first place. Of course she doesn't know. Her parents probably avoided talking about anything that had to do with that at all costs in fear of talking about it aloud would turn Niall gay. Pathetic, really.

 

“Well, I watch lesbian porn, and normally what they do is eat each other out. Oral sex, but instead of a guy doing it, it's another girl, you know? And of course there's the other things that could happen, but that's basically it, really. Not that difficult.” Harry explains with a shrug.

 

“If I watch that does that mean that I'm—?” Niall trails off and Harry just  _knows_ what the end of that sentence is.

 

“No, Niall.” She breathes. “It could be a kink of yours. A lot of straight girls watch it.”

 

“Like you?” She asks innocently and Harry has this odd sense of feeling like she's telling a child that Santa doesn't exist and it was her putting the presents under the tree and eating the cookies.

 

“No. Not like me.” Is all she says. Niall doesn't say anything, but she hears movement on the other end, figures she's getting her laptop.

 

“Oh, I think I found something.” She says after a while and Harry smirks.

 

“Watch it then.”

 

“I am, shush.” She's quiet again for a few seconds before Harry hears a whispered 'oh' slip out. “They're—pretty.” She finally says and Harry smiles.

 

“What are they doing?” Harry asks.

 

“They’re kissing. One girl has her hand down the others pants and is— _oh_.”

 

“Do you like it?” She presses on.

 

“I—um, yes. Yeah, I like it.” There's a sharp intake of breath after a minute or two of silence and Harry realizes what's happening and her eyes go wide.

 

“Niall, are you—?” A whimper makes its way through the phone and she thinks maybe she should hang up and give her some privacy, but thinks that if Niall wanted privacy she would hang up herself. Harry gasps. 

 

Niall makes this soft whine in the back of her throat and she wonders why she hasn't hung up yet, but she feels frozen to the spot, and the noises Niall keeps making are really nice. There's a sudden high pitched moan and Niall's panting hard, swallowing her spit a lot, and Harry thinks she's done.

 

“You finished?” She asks after a beat and the feeling of shock washes away. 

 

“Yeah, Harry.” Niall breathes between pants. “Yeah, I'm—wow.”

 

___

 

Niall comes over the next day.

 

Really, Harry hadn't expected it, she thought, maybe, Zayn would come over to help with her art project that's really kicking her in the butt (she only took that class because Zayn convinced her too and she batted her ungodly eyelashes at her and how could she say no to those lashes?)—she complained about it to her, at least, 20 times. Normally Zayn would come over after the  _tenth_  complaint. 

 

Where is she anyway?

 

Still, Niall's looking around with this amazed look on her face and it shouldn't be cute, but her eyes are big and round and, okay, yes, it is cute. Harry just walks up to her room without looking back to see if she followed (she did, Harry can hear the soft padding of her tiny feet behind her).

 

“Why'd you come over anyway?” Harry asks after lying on her bed. She was planning on doing  _nothing_  today and, gosh darns it she will. Niall jumps at the sound of her voice from where she was looking at one of her posters she has hanging on the wall.

 

“Oh, yeah, um,” she walks over and sits at the edge of her bed. “I was thinking we could maybe do something today? I mean, we're friends, right?” Something swells in Harry's chest at the hopeful look Niall's giving her and now that she thinks of it, yeah, they are friends aren't they. But still, she had  _plans._

 

“Only if you're cool with staying in, yeah? I'm not in the mood for really going anywhere.” She tells her and when a smile splits Niall's face, she smiles back.

 

“Yes, of course! I'm fine with that! But—what are we going to do here?” And  _now_ , her bed decides to be really comfortable.

 

“Well, I'm not moving and—,” Niall's smile falters a bit and Harry wonders just how much control this girl has over her. “Just come here, yeah?” She finishes, opening her arms and moving over a bit more for the blonde. Niall's smile his hesitant and so are her movements before she quickly slides into her arms and nuzzles her nose against Harry's collarbones.

 

It's such a sweet and adorable act that Harry doesn't know what to do with herself, doesn't know if she's holding her right, or if her hands should be someplace else and she doesn't know why she's thinking these things.

 

“This is alright, yeah?” Niall suddenly asks and Harry wants to poke her for thinking that it could possibly not be.

 

“Of course it is, Ni.” Harry replies, swallowing thickly. There's light, feathery touches ghosting over just beneath her collarbones then a quiet voice,

 

“I like your tattoos.” She dips her fingers just below the neck of Harry's shirt and pulls it a bit, revealing the two swallows fully. “They're ace. It makes me kind of want one, too.”

 

Maybe she could, Harry decides, maybe she'll bring her next time she decides to get something done. Niall yawns and hides it behind her small hand.

 

“I'm tired.” She mumbles before snuggling more into Harry. After a minute or two Niall's breathing evens out and Harry thinks that if it started snowing right now, in the middle of July, it wouldn't surprise her just as much as this feeling spreading like wildfire through her veins that feels a lot like love does.

 

She falls asleep not long after.

 

____

 

They wake up at around 11 pm. It should've startled them both, but Harry sees a note on her bedroom door informing her that Zayn did come over, but left when she saw them sleeping—she probably took a picture, Harry really hopes she didn’t—and that there's dinner in the fridge for the both of them. Her mum must've put the note there for her.

 

“Are you hungry?” She asks after removing her arms from around Niall, who's rubbing at her eyes. Her arms feel tingly and weird and she wonders if she had her arms wrapped around Niall literally the whole time. She wouldn't doubt it.

 

“Yes, I'm starving.” Niall breathes when she puts her fists down. Harry smiles slightly at her.

 

“Good because my mum made dinner. C'mon.” She mumbles and gets up, walks down the stairs and hears the sluggish footsteps of Niall behind her.

 

When she gets into the kitchen, she heads quickly to the fridge and pulls the two plates out, takes off the saran wrap and places one into the microwave. She looks over at Niall and sees her rubbing at her face, still looking half asleep. Her face is red in places and her lips are in a cute pout, her hair is messed and clothes are wrinkled and Harry slightly fears that she'll fall asleep at the table.

 

The beep of the microwave makes her jump a little and she pulls it out, quickly places the plate in front of Niall before it can burn her fingers along with a fork. She puts in the second plate and sits in the seat across from Niall and watches her languidly eat her food.

 

When the beep goes off, she gets up quickly and sits back down with her plate and fork and starts to eat too. She tries to muffle her laughter when she sees Niall miss her mouth and the food that was on her fork falls off, hitting her left boob first then falling to her lap.

 

“Oh! No!” Niall whines and leans back in her chair, staring down at the stain. “The stain is bigger than my tit.” She decides after staring at it for a second and, okay, maybe Harry's laughing a little  _too_  hard, but she can't help it, Niall's nearly correct (her boobs are a little bit bigger). When a little snort makes its way out of Harry she quickly slaps her hand over her mouth and Niall looks up at her and lazily smiles at her.

 

“Your laugh is cute.” She says and Harry looks at her.

 

“Thanks, um. You can borrow a shirt of mine after—after we're done eating, I mean.” Harry says and she really hopes she's not blushing.

 

“Great, thank you.” Niall's lazy smile never leaves her face.

 

____

 

Harry's shirt is too big for Niall.

 

For some reason Niall wanted one of her jumpers, said something about them looking soft, so Harry gave her the grey one she doesn't wear as often.

 

It falls past her fingertips by about an inch, maybe two, and she hasn't stopped flapping it back and forth in front of her face since she put it on. Harry laughed a little when she pointed it out to her.

 

But that's not the only thing big on her, its big  _everywhere_. The parts that would normally hug Harry's curves just hang there with nothing to do since Niall doesn't exactly have any. Where it would fall a little higher than the middle of the thighs on Harry falls around the knees on Niall.

 

The neck hole is way too large on her, desperately clinging to her collarbones and shoulder for  _something_  to help keep it up. Still if Niall moves a certain way, the jumper falls even more down her arm, and her whole boob (placed inside a cute, frilly pink bra, of course) hangs out and Harry doesn't know if she should point it out to her or not, if that's  _allowed_.

 

She's constantly pulling at it to cover herself up, but she's still tired, so half the time it falls right back down and she does nothing about it. Eventually she starts grumpily tugging at the sleeves so her hands would show, but it’s all in vain.

 

“Sit on the bed.” Harry tells her and she does, she even crisscrosses her legs. She pulls at the jumper to cover herself a bit (when she put it on she took off her trousers and Harry didn't know she was sleeping over until then) and watches Harry. “Give me your hand.”

 

Niall does. She's very obedient, Harry finds, or maybe she just does what Harry says. Still, she rolls the sleeve of the jumper up until it's at her wrist and does the same for the other side instead of thinking further into it.

 

“Better?” Harry asks when Niall pulls her hand back. She doesn't answer, just lies back on the bed and slides under the covers, opens her arms for Harry to crawl into.

 

Harry hesitates, her fingers playing with the edge of her shirt before she just pulls it off. It's weird. It's not like it's her first time undressing in front of someone before (Zayn lives with her basically a third of the time when she's not with either her family or her boyfriend, Perrie Edwards), it's just that it's the first time in front of  _Niall_  and she's watching everywhere Harry’s hands go.

 

She fixes the straps of her bra and tries to ignore the burn Niall's curious gaze is etching into her skin. She reaches down to the waistband of her sweats and dips her fingers in, pauses for a bit when she sees Niall still watching her hands before deciding against it and just climbs in without the shirt.

 

Harry kinds of wants to laugh and make a joke about how if they press together hard enough they could probably make one whole person since they're wearing opposite halves of outfits, but is too scared of how much she wants to try it, how close she wants to see she can get to her. Niall grabs her hip though and pulls closer to Harry before pressing her head against her chest.

 

Harry read somewhere that if you lay long enough with someone your hearts start to beat in sync, and when the soft beating of Niall's heart against her side starts feel like her own, she gets even more scared.

 

____

 

“Let's go to the park.” Niall says the next morning when they're eating breakfast—“Haz, it's nearly half past 3, it's  _not_  breakfast.” “Since when did you have a nickname for me, Ni?” “Since you started calling me ‘Ni’.”—and so they do.

 

Sure, Harry thinks she's too cool to hang out there, but Niall wanted to go and she finds it hard to say no to her (she hasn’t figured out why yet, but it might have to do with that fact that she maybe, most likely, loves her).

 

Niall tied her hair up in a high pony tail before they left—she’s still wearing Harry’s jumper, by the way—and it makes her look even younger than her rounded face already does and it makes Harry want to hide because she feels like she's babysitting her.

 

It doesn't help that Niall even asks her to push her.

 

She does though, because she figures that if she could make Niall do something that's completely terrible in her books, the least she could do is push her on a dang swing. It's kind of cute, though, how happy she seems by something so simple.

 

At one point when Harry started to slow her down, Niall leaned back a little too far and fell into Harry's chest. Luckily she's still on the swing and nothing's really hurting except for the slight sting on Harry's collarbones from the impact. Niall's looking up at her with wide blue eyes and Harry realizes just how beautiful she is, gets a little excited over the slight freckles dusted over her little nose.

 

“You're really beautiful, you know?” Harry whispers, feels like if she speaks any louder something will break in the world. She catches Niall watching her lips as she talks and her heart jumps into her throat. When their eyes meet again it feels like everything stops.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Niall asks even quieter than Harry and her breath catches in her throat. Harry nods slowly, leans down at the same time Niall leans up. Niall's lips are chapped a little, but the press of them is soft and nice. She feels Niall's tentative tongue come out to trace along her lips and she thinks she’s never wanted anything more than to kiss her.

 

She lets go of the chains and digs her fingers into Niall's high pony tail, messing it up and pulling strands out. Niall turns to face her better and her hands come up to grip lightly at Harry's neck, causing her to go light-headed and dizzy.

 

Her hand moves down to the back of Niall's neck and feels the little chain there, rubs a finger against it. She wonders if the little cross hanging at the bottom of it between Niall's breasts means just as much to her as it does to Harry.

 

Even though Niall doesn't taste like church, and her mouth feels like something holy, Harry figures that even if God doesn't exist, the stars are definitely looking out for her by letting Niall fall.

 


End file.
